WARNING!

I wish I could talk to all birds that fly around my land. I would offer them a warning – try to lend a helping wingy hand. I would say stay away from those big ass windows today. They are covered in glass that you can only fly into even though I know you want to fly through. And I truly believe that you are not meant to be a kamikaze. I know it sounds absurd but I wish I could speak bird and then……I would offer you a warning. I wish that I could talk to all the mice that run around my house I would offer them a warning if I could only speak mouse. I would say stay away from the shiny blue pellets today. I know. They are easily accessible. And I know. They’re pleasing to the eye. And I know. They have a taste all their own. But if you eat them you will die. And you’ll die in all the inconvenient places. Like behind the fridge or under my pillow. Your existence leaves so many traces. I must say I’m not sad to see you go. But this is your warning. I wish I could talk to all the rabbits that run around my yard. I would offer them a warning. Try to make life less hard. I would say stay away. Move your nest far away today. I’m gonna put a bell around that cats neck. So when you hear him comin’ you can grab all of your loved ones and get your lil’ bunny asses runnin. If there’s a baby in your nest my cat will surely nab it. I would‚Äôve warned you sooner if only I could speak rabbit. So consider this your warning.